If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire