I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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