i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
21 Times Karma Showed These People Not to Mess Around
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...