he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him