yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love