drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
