I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
No subtext here. People are naked.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
