I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
