I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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