don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
