ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
she pinky promised me she was 18
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
