Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Vodka?
Forever.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
