i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
you inspire me to be a worse person
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Two words: nipple clamps
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