Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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