i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
