I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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