Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
