We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
accomplished twins. life is a go
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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