If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
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He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
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He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
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