i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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