Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
