i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.