i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I lost the right to judge tonight
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize