I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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