If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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