matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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