Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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