I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
