That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
