Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
try to milk me bitch
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