Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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