I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I think my moral compass just broke
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize