so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
