Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
