why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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