You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
