I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Randomize
