But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
