operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
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