It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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