We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
