Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
