How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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