What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
