Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I still have a little drunk in my system
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
