I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
