wake up i wanna do it froggy style
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize