This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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