Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Randomize
