my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
