It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
