he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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