I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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