he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
