well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
