; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
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