Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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