i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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