It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
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You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
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Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I woke up under a house in Key West
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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