Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
