there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I skipped work to stalk him.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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