We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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