He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
This baby is an asshole
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
