Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
I'm really busy with my period
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