oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
