he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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